I am, He is
by thoughtless dreamer
Summary: Yes, he remembered what the Nobodies had told him. He was a replica. A mere shadow of HIM. But didn’t memories determine who a person was? So if he held HIS memories, wasn’t that who he was? It HAD to be so...it would mean Sora was rightfully his. For Joh


**Disclaimer**: Once upon a time, I owned Kingdom Heats. And then I woke up.

Jessie: I seriously hope you guys don't get the idea that RikuxSora angst is my thing…

Joh: Nope, that's mine.

Jessie: **Sighs** I think I'd better post a RikuxSora story that's _not_ a request of my sister's soon…

Joh: Aww, Jessie, you know you love making me happy!

Jessie: Don't push it, sis. I just wish that this was half as amazing as that Zemyx you wrote me in exchange.

Joh: ANGST!

Jessie: Right…

DEDICATED TO KAORU GAL, BECAUSE I LOVES YOU TOO, AND HOW YOU'LL WRITE FLUFF SO LONG AS YOU GET YOUR HARDCORE ANGST FROM ME IN EXCHANGE! (I find it quite amusing)

**Warnings**: **Yaoi**, rape, and a _hell_ of a lot of self-doubt, courtesy of a certain, unloved replica.

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Blank aquamarine eyes traveled across the blinding expanse of white as Repliku _(whoamI?)_ idly roamed from room to room of Castle Oblivion, head held low as he pondered over his dark thoughts.

Yes, he remembered what the Nobodies had told him he truly was.

That he was a replica.

A mere shadow of Riku. _(whoamI?)_

But didn't memories determine who a person was?

So…if he held Riku's _(whoamI?)_ memories…wasn't that who he was?

Why couldn't _he_ be Riku? _(whoamI?)_

He glanced up sharply at the sounds of one of the Castle's many doors opening and closing, his breath hitching as his eyes drank in the first color he'd seen in… was it hours? Days? He wasn't sure…then again, one could never be too sure of anything in Castle Oblivion.

A small brunet from his (_whose?_) memories pushed through the tall, white doors, cautiously glancing left and right for any possible danger before his gaze moved back to center, lapis lazuli eyes widening in shock at the clone's presence.

"You…" _(whoamI?)_ Sora gasped, biting his lip as he struggled for a moment to place a name; all at once, his eyes lit up and a hopeful expression dawned across his face.

"Riku?!" (_that'snotme._)

Repliku stopped in his tracks, but Sora raced forward until only a few feet separated them, looking as though it was all he could to not to simply fling his arms around his best friend (_whoisthat?_).

"I can't believe you're here!" Sora exclaimed, gesticulating wildly in his excitement.

The silveret repressed an unexpected shudder, and forced himself (_who?_) to remember how to breathe properly as all memories of Naminé were promptly forgotten, instantly replaced with those of past dreams where Sora was involved.

Suddenly, Repliku wished nothing more than to step forward and close the gap between himself (_butwhoisthat?_) and the other keyblade bearer, just like he did all those times in Riku's (_whoamI?_) fantasies.

Then Repliku noticed the way Sora's gaze was now flickering eagerly between him and the way he'd just come, and he felt his chest tighten.

"Why are you so happy?" he demanded suddenly, his sudden irritation spiking when Sora merely blinked, surprised at his unhappy demeanor.

"Let me know if I'm getting in the way of something more important," he continued pointedly, glaring at the younger boy. Sora looked utterly baffled.

"No, of course not…" he trailed off, blue eyes narrowing in confusion.

"Hmph. Spare me. You're forgotten all about me (_whoisthat?_), haven't you?" Repliku asked coldly, fixing Sora with a knowing look.

"Are you crazy? I've been looking all over for you Riku_ (that'snot__**me**__)_!" Sora shouted, waving his arms frantically for emphasis, gazing pleadingly at the replica.

"But not anymore," Repliku insisted, his arms falling limply to his sides.

"Now all you're looking and thinking about is Naminé," he continued, a flare of jealously making his chest ache at the jealously he felt at the very idea of his (_nonono,he's__**mine**_) Sora choosing that stupid blonde over him

"You don't care about me (_butwho,whoisthat?_) at al," he accused bitterly. "You care much more about Naminé."

"Naminé?" Sora repeated faintly, head spinning as he desperately tried to figure out the direction the silver-haired boy was going with the mention of their childhood friend.

"Hmph. I knew it. She's all you think about!" Repliku growled, by this point convinced that he had discovered Sora's true motives for heading in this direction.

But how could Sora ever choose Naminé over him (_whoamI?_), his best friend (_no,__**my**__bestfriend_)?

"Just because you want to see Naminé…doesn't mean that Naminé wants to see you. Naminé doesn't even want to look at you," Repliku went on haughtily, not really knowing nor caring what he was saying anymore--just trying to come up with something to say that would convince Sora not to leave him in order to pursue that blonde girl.

"Why not!?" Sora exclaimed, before letting out an (adorable) frustrated growl, fixing the older keyblade bearer with his best glare. "Riku… (_that'snot__**ME**_) what's your problem? We finally found each other!"

And suddenly Repliku had drawn his weapon in a moment of pure fury, and their keyblades were crossed inches away from both of their faces.

"Sora…you don't care about me (_isit__**me**__or__**him**__though?_)," Repliku persisted brokenly, a look of pain replacing his expression of rage. Sora's determined features immediately changed, his scowl morphing into a look of utmost confusion, and…was that hurt?

"Riku, (_that'snotwhoI__**AM**__damnit_) how could you ever _say_ that? You're my best friend," Sora whispered, slowly lowering his keyblade until their weapons unlocked and then dismissing his keyblade in a sign of peace.

Repliku didn't reply, opting to close his eyes and draw in a shuddering breath in an attempt to regain some measure of his (_whose?_) naturally cool composure.

Then--

"Riku? (_I'mnotRiku_) Riku (_I'mnotI'mnotI'm__**NOT**__theytoldmeso…_), please talk to me," Sora begged, blue eyes wide.

'_Sora, please…you don't know what you're doing to me…'_

"Riku?"

That last, hesitant plea was the last thing Sora found himself capable of saying, for the next instant the silveret had captured his lips in a bruising kiss, one hand going to the back of his head, where his fingers promptly tangled themselves in his hair while his other arm slipped around his waist and pulled him closer, forcing him roughly against the clone's larger frame.

Repliku felt Sora stiffen in his arms, seemingly unable to process the situation until he made a sound of protest in the back of his throat at the feeling of the other boy's tongue forcing its way between his lips (_they'reminemineminehekissing__**me**__isn'the?_) in an attempt to deepen the kiss.

Repliku realized that his eyes (_hisormine?_) had slid closed at some point when they snapped open in response to Sora biting his tongue as hard as he could, and he found himself (_who?_) staring into wide, panicked cerulean as he pulled away, making a face at the taste of blood.

"Riku, what--?"

"_Shut up,"_ Repliku hissed, grabbing fistfuls of his (_whose?_) silver hair and clenching his eyes shut, trying to block out _**his**_ name

Sora looked torn between getting away from the silver-haired boy and finding out what was wrong with him. At last, he settled for hesitantly slipping his skinny arms around the other's shoulders

"I…I guess Castle Oblivion is really messing with our heads, huh?" Sora asked weakly, resting his cheek against the silveret's uncertainly, still shaken by the unexpected kiss.

Repliku clenched his fists tightly as he struggled not to grab the brunet once more, leaving small crescent moons in his palms.

"Sora, stop it," he tried, but the keyblade bearer only hugged him tighter.

"Not until you (_I'mnotwhoyouthinkIam_) tell me what's wrong," Sora shot back, his features immediately softening once he realized how harsh he had sounded.

"Please, let me help you," Sora persisted, tilting his head as he gazed imploringly at Repliku, trying to catch his eye.

"Just tell me what's wrong…"

'_You, __**me**__, __**THIS…'**_

"What can I do to make it better?"

"Did I…do something? Is it my fault?"

Repliku couldn't take it anymore. It didn't matter whose memories they were, he decided as his hands gripped Sora's hips, pulling the brunet flush against himself. It didn't matter who Sora thought he was or wasn't he told himself, as Sora's stumble forward sent them crashing to the ground.

What _mattered_ was that it was _his_ (_they're__**mine**_) hands that were running over Sora's body, that it was _his_ (_**mine**__not__**his**_) lips pressed firmly against the brunet's soft ones, that _he_ (_**he**__isn'tin__**my**__place_) was the one touchingneeding_possesssing_ Sora.

'_I'll… I'll be whoever you __**want**__ me to be…Sora…'_

"Riku, what are you doing?" Sora gasped once Repliku's mouth left his, squirming when those lips moved to the expanse of unmarred, tan skin of his neck.

"I thought you wanted to help me (_not__**him**__not__**him**_)," Repliku murmured against Sora's skin, biting down harshly on the smaller boy's collarbone, smiling when he elicited a small noise of pain.

"I--ngh!--of course I do, but…Riku, I don't understand," Sora stammered helplessly, pushing against Repliku's shoulders in a vain attempt to throw the clone from him.

Repliku's wandering hands paused where they had slipped beneath Sora's shirt. Thinking that the message had at last processed for the other keyblade bearer, Sora glanced up expectantly; his expression of relief, however, dropped from his face when he registered the blank stare he was given.

"You…don't get it?" Repliku repeated slowly, a disbelieving look replacing his slight frown as memories of the two of them together on the islands flashed through his mind.

"After all this time…you still don't understand…our (_Idon'tcareiftheir__**his**__they're__**mine**__too_) feelings?" the replica whispered incredulously.

"'_Our _feelings?_'"_ Sora asked curiously, but the silveret ignored the inquiry in favor of gazing at the slightly flushed brunet.

"Wait, what feelings?" Sora insisted, pouting when he wasn't given an answer.

"Riku, you're acting really weird," he complained, squeaking when Repliku shifted on top of him.

"So naïve," the older boy sighed, his hands resuming their caresses over Sora's slight build.

"Riku, stop it--please," Sora gulped, once again wriggling beneath Riku in an attempt to escape, but this time accidently brushing his hips against the other's. Both the keyblade bearers gasped at the friction—Sora blushing furiously while Repliku shuddered violently.

"Why? After all, we both know you'll only leave me to go after _Naminé_," Repliku spat the petit girl's name out like a curse, accusing aqua eyes meeting nervous blue ones.

"And if that means that the only way I can have you is by force…" he trailed off, hands taking an abrupt turn southward from where they had been exploring the exposed skin below where Sora's shirt had bunched up by his shoulders.

"…Then I suppose I'll just have to take you for myself," he concluded, fingers slipped beneath the waistband of Sora's shorts, earning a surprised yelp from the smaller boy.

"Rik—aah!" Sora broke off with a whine, throwing his head back against the white tiles and then gasping in a mix of pleasure and pain. Repliku drank in the sight of the panting islander beneath him, body involuntarily responding to these foreign touches.

"…'ts _wrong_, Riku, so wrong…" Sora moaned, struggling to keep from raising his hips to meet Repliku's touch when the silveret teasingly drew his hand slightly back.

"Don't say that, Sora, it's not," Repliku whispered into the brunet's ear, licking and biting at Sora's jaw line until he was certain he'd left a mark.

"But…Naminé," Sora hiccupped, crying out in pain when Repliku's other hand struck him across the face.

"Don't you _dare_ say her name, Sora. Never say it--never _think_ it again," Repliku hissed, his hand (_itsmyhand,not__**his**__hand,SoraSora__**my**__Sora_) picking up a rough, quick pace; earning a reluctant, wanton moan from the other.

"Ngh, R-Riku, I—ah!" Sora whimpered, hands flying to his mouth in an attempt to stifle his involuntary responses to Repliku's ministrations, wishing that this was just end.

Sora only distantly registered the feeling of his shorts being yanked down to his knees, too caught up in these new sensations to think much of it. A small corner of his mind screamed at him to _**do**_something_**idiot**_,get**out**ofhere when he registered the sound of another pair of jeans being unzipped, but he was still too busy struggling to remember to breathe properly to pay heed to that last, sensible part of his brain.

However, he was all too aware of the sharp pain that shot up his spine and wrenched a scream of agony from his throat mere seconds after those two tell-tale clues.

"Ri…" Sora began hoarsely, but his voice cracked as a pained sob rose in his throat, cutting off all further coherent speech.

The silveret merely leaned forward to kiss away the tears that were beginning to stream down Sora's face, shushing the sniffling brunet lovingly.

"_Sora_," Repliku breathed, eyes squeezing shut as a violent shudder racked his (_mineits__**mine**__,it's__**my**__bodyinSora's_) lean frame, before he picked up a erratic rhythm, eliciting a small sound of pain each time he rocked his hips forcefully against Sora's.

Sora's trembling hands found their way to the older boy's back, where his nails raked down the pale skin, leaving streaks of red in their wake. Repliku let out a hiss but didn't react any further, obviously much too caught up in his own pleasure to give too much notice to the slight discomfort that had absolutely _nothing_ on the level of bliss he (_that'sright,__**me**__,not__**thatperson**_) was experiencing right now.

"Riku, stop—_please, __**stop**_," Sora begged brokenly, whining loudly in mixed protest and pleasure when Repliku's hand snaked in between his legs instead, resuming the pace that had had him writhing helplessly mere minutes before.

Sora let his head fall back heavily against the cold tiles in defeat, making his vision go dark for a split second; distantly, he wished that he'd smacked his head harder and earned the luxury of passing out to avoid this torture.

He just wanted this to be over.

And a few seconds later, it was—with Repliku thrusting one last time, brushing against an unsuspecting brunet's sweet spot for the first time and making him gasp and buck up against an even more surprised clone, giving the both of them the push they needed to climax.

Repliku collapsed onto Sora's body, whose chest rose and fell erratically as his breath hitched painfully while he tried to regain his breath.

"_**I'm**_ all you'll ever need, Sora," Repliku murmured against Sora's neck before his lips found Sora's, fingers moving to idly toy with his cinnamon spikes.

With his body aching terribly and energy entirely spent, Sora wasn't able to do anything more than sigh helplessly against the other's eager mouth, and did nothing to stop him from exploring his mouth this time.

"Why? Riku, _why?"_ Sora finally managed to choke out when his mouth was free at last, burning tears springing to his blueblue_ohthey'reso__**blue**_justlikeIremembered eyes.

"Because _**he**_ has to know you're _**mine**__,_" Repliku replied matter-of-factly, before leaning down to steal another kiss.

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Jessie: …I hope you're happy now, Joh…

Joh: Yay angst!

Jessie: Right. And now that I've had my fill of feeling sufficiently guilty for doing this to poor Sora—

Joh: Again!

Jessie: …Thank you, dear. So yeah—now that I've done this for my darling sister, _**again**_, I'm off to go read the Zemyx she promised me again!

Joh: I got RikuxSora angst.

Jessie: Yes, they know. And I got Zemyx. We both win. So I guess that's it; tune in next time to another episode of "The Everyday Exchange Between Jessie and Joh."

_**Please Review**_


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